Up The Guts Rugby

I knew the All Blacks were going to win on Sunday night.  Not because I thought they were a better team than Argentina or because of the squad we had playing, the belief the team had in themselves or anything like that at all.

I knew the All Blacks would win on Sunday night because they weren’t playing a Fullback at Centre.  The last three times we’ve been knocked out of a Rugby World Cup we’ve been so arrogant and confident in our teams abilities, that rather than put the guy we selected in the 30 man squad to back up our incumbent centre, the All Black coaches chickened out and stuck their Fullback there instead.

Remember how they put Mills there against France in 2007?  Apparently Ted whispered “13″ in Mills’ ear at training a few days before and he was super excited because he hadn’t played a test match there in ages!  How did that work out for us again?

Remember 2003 when we gave Leon McDonald a crack there when Tana was injured?  How about when we gave Cullen a crack there in 99?  He was a great Fullback, surely Centre couldn’t be THAT different right? WRONG!

We’re so lucky to have such a brilliant Centre pairing in Ma’a Nonu and Conrad Smith.  Let’s hope they remain fit for the minutes the All Blacks have left in this Rugby World Cup.

The only man playing out of position on Sunday night was Sonny Bill Williams.  And while I wasn’t overly impressed by the decision to put him out on the wing, he couldn’t do TOO much wrong out there right?  He only let Argentina’s only try in…

Let’s not play guys out of position again shall we? i.e. YES Piri seems like he can do no wrong at the moment but let’s snap back to reality for JUST a moment, he is a half back, let’s leave five eighth to the specialists.

What a whirlwind two weeks.  First the country’s devastation at losing Dan Carter and now we lose his back up Colin Slade AND our seasoned campaigner at fullback, Mils Muliaina.  That’s a lot of test cap experience to lose all at once.

It’s times like these that the inexperienced players have to step up and the other old heads have to do about 20% more.

Mils and Slade's World Cups Over

When Colin Slade and Mils Muliaina made untimely exits and Aaron Cruden was thrust onto the field, I immediately thought to myself, “Every single player in the backline bar SBW has played for the Hurricanes and only Isaia Toeava wasn’t a current Hurricane this year. The Hurricanes were terrible this year, we could be in trouble.”  The proof will be in the Semi Final result this weekend.

Isn’t it amazing how a Test jersey transforms players though?  Piri Weepu, Cory Jane and Ma’a Nonu have all stepped it up into overdrive since their woeful Super Rugby seasons.

In particular Weepu has looked calm and assured.  He has run our backline from halfback, kicked all the goals superbly, led our haka and rescued our boys from late night binging sessions.  Like I’ve alluded to in a previous article, I can’t help but come back to the fact that being controversially left out of the 2007 All Black squad as the ONLY ‘protected’ player not to make the cut, it has only made him stronger, twice the man and probably triple the player.  Not even snapping his ankle in half could stop him from being this good.

Piri Weepu - It's Under Control

Ice sporting a SENSATIONAL Moustache

Isaia Toeava is an electrifying rugby player.  He has one of the best fends you will ever see.  He can fend off both hands and has massive upper body strength making him very hard to take down in a 1 on 1 tackle.  One of his greatest strengths is his ability to to stay upright in tackles for a very long time to make some extremely skillful offloads.  He is a natural fullback but has massive utility value.  He can play every position in the back line from 10 to 15 and has done so at provincial and Super rugby level to a very high standard.

Today Ice gets to play fullback for the All Blacks for the first time in his career and I am absolutely FIZZING at the prospect.  Isaia was the most in form player for the first half of the Super 15 this year until he was cruelly struck down with injury.  Sky TV’s Re-Union named him as the first choice fullback in their weekly top 15 every week he played in that first half of the season.

This is an amazing opportunity for Toeava and I’m sure he’ll grab it with both hands and really leave the coaches scratching their heads.  They know they have to put him somewhere, his talent is too good to ignore, but where?

Check out this brief highlights reel to get a glimpse of the amazing try scoring power Toeava posesses and his ability to put other players in space and give try assists.

Let's hope we don't need to put up with this joke again this year

I know the All Blacks are the perennial chokers when it comes to the Rugby World Cup.  Everyone knows we haven’t lifted the trophy since 87 and despite regularly beating our biggest southern hemisphere rivals since then, they have lifted the trophy twice each to our once.

Why are we labelled chokers though?  Is it because we are expected to win the World Cup or is it because we keep coming so close but aren’t able to go the distance?

Many a New Zealander has debated this.  Is it better to be consistently #1 in the world or to consistently perform well at the World Cup?  Does winning the World Cup really make up for all the soul destroying losses the previous 4 years?  I couldn’t tell you.  You’d have to ask an Australian or South African supporter because they’d know best.

I'm really hoping I won't have to go out and buy one of those on Monday 24 October

One thing I do know though, is that if coming close and missing out is the definition of being a choker then clearly, France are actually the biggest chokers in world rugby.  France have more play offs appearances than any other country and have made two finals appearances without being able to win one.  New Zealand is 1 from 2, Australia 2 from 3, England 1 from 3 and South Africa with an impressive 2 from 2.

Wayne Barnes - All Black Nemesis

You may have read about all the lessons the All Blacks have learned from their loss to the Wallabies in the Tri Nations decider on Saturday but no one from the All Blacks camp spoke about the biggest one, they kept it under wraps.

No matter how well you play or how good you think you are, the game will be decided by the referee.  Wayne Barnes is an incompetent fuckwit, we all know it so let’s just put it right out there.  He refereed the game and he wasn’t too biased towards either side but he did not referee the game well.  It was the greatest display of under officiating I have ever seen in my life.

It was a highly charged and EXTREMELY physical match.  He did not control that match.  People got hurt and there is one reason.  Wayne did not control the game.  Good Test players know that right from the start you test your boundaries against the referree.  The more you can push the laws, the more advantage you can give your team and you can manipulate your team into a position of power and dominance.

The best referees in the world will blow their whistle in the first 2 minutes and give a penalty.  This is to stamp their authority early and say, “I’m watching you fullas, don’t try and pull one over me”.  Wayne didn’t blow his whistle for about six minutes.  By this point both teams realised they could push the offside line, they could be casual about hands in the ruck, they could slap each other around off the ball and basically get away with almost anything.

This built more and more tension and people got hurt.  On no less than 12 occasions, I witnessed Wayne Barnes put his whistle to his lips and NOT blow his whistle.  Have some conviction Wayne!  Even if you might have been wrong at least have a back bone, have some commitment!  Make your mind up and STICK with it! The issue with this is that on most of those occasions he thought to himself, “hmm I should probably have blown that up, I’ll definitely blow up the next one”.  The problem was, the next time it happened, the OTHER team did it and then his officiating became inconsistent.  Then more people got hurt.

Wayne Barnes did not officiate the Quarter Final in France in 2007 well at all.  The All Blacks didn’t play Waynes game in that game and I don’t think they played Waynes game on Saturday night.  The All Blacks have been given a timely reminder that their World Cup title hopes will most likely hinge on how the referee interprets the last game they play in that tournament.  They need to VERY quickly adapt to what the ref is doing and is not doing and figure out a Plan B REAL QUICK or we are doomed to another early World Cup exit.  There won’t be any point shaking our heads and blaming it on the ref this time.  It won’t be like it’s the first time it’s happened. Remember 27 August All Blacks.  Remember it well.

We should know better.

Interesting that in my last article I put photos of Hosea Gear and Zac Guildford, and they are the most talked about rugby players in NZ right now.  In a huge shock, Gear missed out and Zac made the cut.  Here was me thinking it was gonna be Zac or Siti right? I never thought Gear could get bumped out of the equation. Full credit to Zac, he has slugged his guts out all year and has played tremendously and is an extremely good link player.  Not as powerfully built like Gear to hold up the tackle while he looks for options, Zac has to rely on thinking quicker and having acute spatial awareness to anticipate what’s going to happen next and where and how he can be most effective in the given situation.  We always knew Jane was all class, his Hurricanes form clearly meant nothing, he is an out and out speedster who creates as much for himself as he does for others.

Hosea and brother Rico before Rico plied his trade overseas

I’m sure I’m not alone in my concern for Hosea Gear‘s future.  This situation is not too unlike what his brother Rico faced although Rico showed his hand a little earlier.  Rico signed for the Worcester Warriors a few weeks before the 2007 Rugby World Cup side was named and was beaten by Doug Howlett.  Who knows how that may have panned out had he not made his annoucement early.  Hosea Gear was in bilstering form in last years All Black season and until he was struck down with injury earlier this year you’d say he was an automatic All Black selection and the best in our country if not the world.  Crazy is the talent that the All Blacks possess, that we can fathom leaving him out of a World Cup on home soil, when any other country in the world would select him for their national side in a heart beat if they could.

The big question is, what is Gear going to do now?  The international offers will be piling up so high on his agents front door step that he won’t be able to see daylight, but Gear would do well to tell his agent to put them on ice and put them out of his own mind entirely for now.  Gear will no doubt be the first injury replacement should any of the backs go down so he still might yet get a chance.

But even if that doesn’t eventuate, I think he needs to man up, take it on the chin and be a better man and player for it.  Ma’a Nonu was hard done by in the 2007 world cup, in tremendous form all year but not good enough, even despite the immense potential he could have offered off the bench as an impact player.  He stayed and look at him now.  He is a legend and will go down in history as one of the greats.

Piri Weepu - Man or overweight hobbit?

But what about the guy that was most hard done by in 2007?  Piri Weepu was in the so called ‘protected’ team of ‘reconditioned’ All Blacks in the lead up to the last World Cup where the players were held back from the Super 14 to improve their strength and conditioning.  Piri Weepu was the only player in the group that did not get named in the eventual World Cup squad.  Could you imagine how embarrassing that would be?  How soul destroying?  Piri came close to leaving, almost switched to league, but in the end he stayed.  Look where he is now.  Even after a horrific leg injury that kept him out of rugby completely for the best part of the last 12 months, he is about to start in the Tri Nations decider against the Wallabies at Suncorp stadium.

I'm sorry, but that is REALLY gay, don't do it Hosea!

I hope Piri and Ma’a let Gear know how it was worth staying for them, that he is also a brilliant player and his time will come.  It would be a terrible, terrible shame to lose Gear now, let’s hope in October when he has to make the big decision, he chooses Black and not some poncy homosexual looking bright pink and teal excuse for a rugby jersey….

In less than 6 hours, dreams will be made and dreams will be broken.  Of the current All Blacks squad only about half of them have ever played in a World Cup. Those that missed out narrowly in 2007 look a shoe-in this year.  This time there are no question marks over whether Ma’a Nonu and Piri Weepu are worthy of a RWC Call up.  Most of the team picks itself but there  are a few question marks remaining for who will pick up those last few spots.

In the locks, will the nearly fit Boric get picked ahead of the impressive Hoeata?  The Three Wise Men have picked injured players for World Cups before and what good did it do them?  They took a risk picking Robinson and Conrad Smith last time.  Robinsons back was broken and Conrad had played about 3 minutes of rugby in six months.  They picked Toeava as a specalist centre but lost their nerve and didn’t play him in the big games.

In the backs you’d have to think that Dagg, Toeava and SBW have done enough this year.  For all the criticism SBW gets on his defense, he has done some magical things on attack and sparked half a dozen of the line breaks the All Blacks enjoyed against the Boks last week.  The fact the All Blacks B team didn’t concede any tries and that SBW and Kahui were up against the most experienced mid field in world rugby surely means his defense can’t be too bad.

The back three must be the biggest headache surely.  Zac Guildford has barely put a foot wrong but his undoing could be his lack of versatility.  Toeava is big, strong and fast and can more than adequately cover centre, second five, wing and fullback, he is the ultimate utility, a must have at a World Cup.  Kahui too, who proved he is definitely a specialist centre against the Boks can also cover the wing and could probably slot into second five at a pinch too.  Cory Jane is a fullback by trade despite all his matches in the black jersey being at wing.

So it begs the question, how much room is there in a Rugby World Cup squad for the 3 guys were are our specialist wingers who you wouldn’t put in any other position in a Test match.  Sitivini Sivivatu, Zac Guildford and Hosea Gear.

Siti has by far the most experience and is a big match player.  We know he can turn it on in the pressure cooker of Test rugby.  He was man of the match against Fiji and was only there by chance as injury cover.

Last Years #1 - Has he done enough in 2011?

Hosea Gear has had to watch the other in form wingers overtake him while he watches from the sidelines with injury.  Since his return he has been good but not amazing.  With the amount of competition stacked up against him, has he done enough to earn his place back?  Can he get back to the blockbusting form he showed last year that had the world saying he was the best winger on earth?

And then there’s little Zac.  He must surely be asking himself, “What more can I do?!”  The saddest part is that he really hasn’t done anything wrong, Gear and Siti were just born with a little more X factor and just have that game breaking edge about them where they can bust a game open like a cold can of baked beans and maybe Zac just doesn’t quite have it.

Zac Guildford - Lack of versatility could be his undoing

I think everyone knows the first 26 players that will be picked for this years Rugby World Cup 2011 in New Zealand, it’s the last 4 that are going to be the big shock at 2pm today.  The rumour mill says that it’ll be Gear and Siti that will miss out.  A couple of games ago most people would say they are our two best wingers, amazing how opinion can change in the matter of a couple of weeks.

The Up The Guts Rugby™ prediction for the two most likely to have their Rugby World Cup 2011 dream shattered are: Richard Kahui and Zac Guildford

Tune in to AllBlacks.com at 2pm today to see the 30 man squad that will attempt to lift the William Web Ellis trophy for New Zealand for the first time since 1987.

Andy Ellis - Hopeless Fruju Ice Block Addict

Up The Guts Rugby has been getting a huge number of Google hits from fans looking for information on why Andy Ellis hasn’t been getting much game time in the All Blacks so we’ve done a bit of research and I’m pleased to say, we have the scoop!

It’s come to light that Andy Ellis has been diagnosed with a chronic Fruju ice block addiction.  As you can see pictured, Andy Ellis is enjoying one after a casual swim with the equally relaxed and casual Sitivini Sivivatu.  The All Black coaches have given Andy an ultimatum.  Go cold turkey by completing a comprehensive Fruju rehabilitation programme or forget about your World Cup aspirations! *  Or maybe Dan Carter is just uncomfortable at how Andy is always trying to hook up with him?

This could well be the reason why we’ve seen very little of Andy Ellis in black so far in 2011.  The other possibility is that these other two chaps are… well, just better Rugby players than him.

The Best Half Backs in NZ - Jimmy Cowan and Piri Weepu

* This information is completely unfounded, Piri and Jimmy are just streets ahead of Andy and let’s face it, although Andy is an alright half back, compared to these two jokers, he’s crap. 

"Hi All Blacks I'm Johnny Trash, don't lose that All Black final or my wife GETS IT!"

It’s a well known fact that domestic violence call outs from the NZ Police are much higher on the nights when the All Blacks lose a Test match.  So the ‘tongue-in-cheek’ move by Telecoms BackingBlack marketing department to launch the “Abstain for the All Blacks” is irresponsible.

It might seem funny now, but it won’t be funny on October 23 when the All Blacks lose the Rugby World Cup final courtesy of a Quade Cooper drop goal in the 82nd minute.  Victims of domestic abuse will want to be wearing the latest in Adidas (All Day I Dream About Sex) headgear, shoulder and shinpads and maybe a solid official All Blacks sofa cushion stuffed under the jumper for good measure.

If they thought the beating they got when the All Blacks lost to the Wallabies in Hong Kong last year was hard to stomach (literally, the tummy uppercut is a killer), it’s nothing compared to the physical beating that will be administered from angry NZ men prone to a bit of wife beating and the subsequent rape that will ensue afterwards when that final whistle blows and we’ve failed to secure the World Cup yet again.  Nice one Telecom, nice one NZRFU, a stack of domestic violence rapes will be on your hands come October 24.

Just to be clear, this campaign is NOT endorsed by the All Blacks team or management.

“An NZRU person told me Ted was offered a shitload of money to front it but refused.”

The Up The Guts prediction for the All Blacks squad for Tri Nations 5: Springboks vs All Blacks:

1. Woodcock
2. Mealamu
3. B. Franks
4. Williams
5. Whitelock
6. Kaino
7. Thomson
8. Messam
9. Cowan
10. Slade
11. Gear
12. SBW
13. Kahui
14. Toeava
15. Dagg

Reserves: O.Franks, Hoeata, Nonu, Jane, Hore, Vito, Weepu

Note: My personal preference is to see Toeava, the best fullback in this years Super 15, at fullback but because of his flexibility, I suspect it more likely he will play on the wing.